Disclaimer: As much as I appreciate your comments, please hold all comments for personal conversation the next time I see you rather than an email. Its difficult to understand tone and intent for me through email and I would rather take the opportunity to build relationship.
I've had quite a bit of separation from my blog. I'm not really sure why. This whole vow thing has been tough. I'm home alone all weekend and I just don't want to spend it all in prayer. I know I should and I'm intending to spend a portion of it in that but even with the majority of distractions removed I still lack the desire to just sit. I've tricked myself into thinking God is boring on the weekends or that maybe I have enough God. That whole well dressed lie concept is coming back to me. Nothing is safe anymore. Last night I was awake until 3 am and it was such a waste. I feel like i've cheated myself out of something awesome. I'm tired of it. I have issues that don't go away and don't get easier they just get more in my face as time goes on. And its not that I'm not dealing with them and not fighting them its that The closer I get to Him the Bigger the threat seems to become. I'm searching and putting my foot down. This weekend will be God's, not my own.
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