Day 6 again. and again.

The past few days have been a blur really. In lightest news I shaved my head. In the depths of that I guess, I was hoping that I would spurred on in this challenge and journey but alas it had no affect on that. I keep being reminded that I keep hiding and at first I thought it meant that I was changing who I was to fit around others but instead its the opposite I constantly find myself consistent in my character and growth when in public and not so much when I am alone by myself. I still follow the same patterns. I can have all the desire to be in the Word I want but with no action how can I say that is what I put time into? And its not that I don't have time for it or don't want it to be a priority its that the distractions around me are so heavy that I lose focus. Its like someone steps in front of my camera at the last moment and so even if my gaze is fixed on him the distraction gains the focus. And that leads to me being dragged into this spiral of well I couldn't discipline myself yesterday why should today be any different. Yes Ed and Ann I know that is a well-dressed lie.
Today's word of the day is Casuistry.. It means exactly that a well dressed lie. Its a deception or an oversubtle lie in speech.
How fitting.

The only days I have that I blog are ones where I have had time in the prayer room. I'm going to have to break that because starting tomorrow I won't be in the prayer room until Friday. I'm going to have actually have my own time with God separated from a place. Now I don't want people to think that the only time I pray is in the prayer room but it is probably the most focused time I spend. It has been quite a while since my nature walk and I miss that disconnection. I miss how it was last week when I had silenced distraction around me. I want that back but in a manageable state not where it's on-again, off-again all or nothing every other day of the week with the hope that God will work in me to be consistently free of distraction so I can hear him.

I was offered a new job yesterday. I called a guy I had interviewed with and he had said I could start saturday and have a full time job but needed someone right away. Dilemma #1 was I have to work saturday at my other job. Dilemma #2 was I will be out of town for the next week until friday. So here is where I am stuck if I come back and the job is still available, zero time to give notice to my other job besides a call that says, "hey I found a better job so I'm quitting." Not really my style but thats why I am putting this out there. I don't want to know your opinion or even if you have chapter and verse to support or reject this. I want prayer solid prayer for God to reveal himself to me in this situation so that I may not be swayed to do what I want and to do what he desires for me.

So the challenge remains the same. Day 6 starts again today. Be and speak who I am in Christ always no matter how many people are around or how much light is in the room.